good clean fun

take any song about lust and replace the theme with menopause. strange how much it works.

piceless

new blouse that's hot but not too obvious: $28
flirtatious hairstyle: 35 minutes
ironing: 20 minutes
makeup that hides wrinkles and creates a dewy look: 25 minutes
vintage jewelry that looks more hip than granny: $55
shoes that accent my  curves without making me too tall: 2.5"
dieting to maintain a socially acceptable figure: 20 years
date with a guy i'm hoping is at least polite: priceless?

for everything else, there's MasterCard: the bottle of wine, AA batteries and tub of ice cream i need when i come home disappointed and questioning if dating is even worth it.